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A very special blend of some of my finest niggles from the last 24 hours...
My DVD player has become a serious pain in the arse. It keeps freezing up on (or even before) the menu screen. Nige has very kindly lent me season 6 of Smallville, but it takes me four or five goes to get each disc to play. The same thing happened with my Grange Hill DVDs. It's driving me up the wall - because when you do get them to play, there's no problem at all. I've tried a laser-cleaning disk which had no effect at all. I need to buy a new player. I realise you can get them for about £15, so it's no great hardship... but I really want a DVD recorder, and they're a lot more expensive.
Daffodils are lovely. It's so nice to see their bright bursts of yellow everywhere after so many months of grey. But when I see them all lined up on the side of the road like an army, I can't help but think - eek, triffids! Eek - Audrey II! Squeaky-eek - attack of the killer daffodils! There's something both alien and menacing about them...
How come paper cuts bleed worse than knife wounds?
There ought to be a law against cars with defective windscreen wash jets. You know the ones, they squirt up right and over and onto the vehicle behind (i.e. me). Especially Audis.
You get home from work. You're busting for the loo. You hurry to get your shoes off and the laces pull into a Gordian knot. Aaarrrgh!
Hailie, Keisha, Gracie, Tonya, Deanna and Elvira all want to be my friend on myspace. Well, I'm always interested in befriending new people*, but something tells me you might not be all you say you are...
my names candi. im 22. i actually wish i didnt have 2 wear clothes. (sorry, i dont know how to use capital lettrz. LOL.) Or punktuation. i love 2 take pictures (prezumabobly because i cant read books). Click HERE to see my ADULT profile.
No, I don't want to be your friend, Candi. Or any of you. Learn to spell, put on some clothes, get a decent job. Stop bothering me. Now. (Is it just me, or has myspace gone the way of the dodo? God, I hope facebook follows it.)
Finally, my urgent need for a haircut is obviously starting to affect my subconscious. Last night I awoke from a particularly disturbing dream wherein I'd gone to the hairdressers only to discover that my regular barber was on holiday - but don't worry, comedy actor Mark Benton was filling in for him. (Google him, you'll probably recognise his face.) Anyway, Mr. Benton set about tackling my hair with his trademark "can't be arsed" attitude, and I ended up with a do that looked like something out of Labyrinth. I suggested to him that there might be a bit more work to do - perhaps he could give me another go over with the thinning scissors or something...
"Sorry, if I change tools, I'll have to charge you for two haircuts."
I let it go. I just wanted to pay up and get out of there. He was really starting to creep me out. It was right about then that the killer daffodils turned up, driving a car, threatening to take me out. I woke up in a cold sweat. That was it for me and sleep last night.
So that's what's niggling me today. How about you?
In the meantime, here's a chicken. Because I can.
*Obviously, this isn't strictly true. Let's pretend it is for the benefit of this whinge.
10 rants and reactions:
I like daffodils when they first come out, but then they are absolutely everywhere and just look... I dunno, vulgar.
I'm annoyed that Hailie, Keisha, Gracie, Tonya, Deanna and Elvira don't want to be my friends.
Although seriously, I don't think I've logged into myspace for months. I'm actually most annoyed at myself for buying into the damned thing in the first place.
Shoes knots during times of bladder extremis are very tiresome. I just leave muddy footprints over the bath mats and have done with it. Better mud than... other material...
Dan - they're what not to wear this season.
Steve - you bought into it? Who are you, Steve JOBS?
Didn't the photo give it away?
Have you tried wiping the little lensy thing with a cotton bud dipped in lens cleaner (or fairy liquid or whatever)? Can work.
I was worrying at the kind of loo crisis that requires one to remove one's shoes, but realise that not everyone has our grubby habit of wearing them through the house.
Alien daffodils: explains why my wife saw a bunch of hoodies kicking daffs' heads off along the roadside last week.
Butterflies have really mean faces. You have a good close look at one; oh sure they float about looking all harmless and stuff but rest assured they are just keeping watch for the killer daffs.
I still use myspace, but purely as a marketing tool for d.o.a.s., and that's going to be less and less as I find more relevant ways of promotion. I haven't used my persoanl one in yonks except for checking occassionally my inbox. You'll have to check with Pete about what the cool kids are using, think its something like booboo or mootube or some crap like that. Oh and the Long Blondes gig was average to be kind
Rather than start on MySpace and Facebook (trust me, you don't want that to happen), I just had to pop in and say:
"prezumabobly"
I now kind of wish that was how the word was really spelt, and have determined to try and use this version in the future...
DVD players are becoming throw away items thanks to the price of them! And for some of them the quality, I've especially found this with DVD drives for the computer.
For some reason my copy of Tomb Raider wouldn't work in the DVD player but would work on the computer - so irritating or maybe it was doing me a favour?
Imagine if DVD players developed taste. "I'm not playing THAT!"
Not one DVD player anywhere in the world would ever play Forrest Gump.
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