Posts
So on the way home from seeing Billy Bragg the other night, I decided to stop off at the Evil Empire to do my weekly shopping. I feel a bit like a character in a Douglas Coupland novel (of which more tomorrow) when it comes to my allegiance to that supermarket (which shall remain nameless, not because I'm scared of getting sued, but more because I don't want to sully my blog with their name). Particularly after two hours of socialist serenading, the fact that I can ignore the many nefarious nastinesses perpetrated by the Evil Empire merely in the name of convenience fills me with a secret shame. I know I should support my local retailers and all the rest, but they're not open at twenty past eleven on a Thursday night... and I really didn't want to go out again on Friday.
This whole 24 hour shopping malarkey is a bit of a scam though, isn't it? It all really depends on your definition of 'open'. It's like somebody in the supermarket mafia decided - hell, we've got staff in stacking the shelves all night, the lights are on... it's not going to cost us anymore to leave the doors open, is it? And now we've got those self service checkouts, we don't even have to pay anybody to work the normal checkouts. Let's add a few more to our millions-per-second profit ratio for the minimum of effort!
There's no fresh bread, the butcher's counter is closed, and you can't even get near most of the shelves because they're blocked by those big wheelable pallet things the shelf-stackers use. You're lucky if you can even get your trolley down the aisle. And don't even start me on the petrol station. The Evil Empire's got one of those schemes going where if you spend £50, they give you a voucher worth 5p off every litre of petrol you buy (Whoopee!). Except you're lucky if you can get anywhere near the petrol station during the daytime - people are queuing out onto the roundabout to use their vouchers... but after about 10pm the day's supply runs out and the petrol station gets coned off till the tanker arrives... which is usually after 7 the following morning. I know this because I've tried going on my way to work and they don't have any petrol then either. Aaarrrgh - and I just called this convenience?
All this after last week's post office rant... I am turning into Victor Meldrew, it's official.
THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN by GARTH STEIN
-
*Inspiring! Uplifting!* It's the next [fill in the blank with a comparable
former bestseller here]. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to run hug
your d...
31 minutes ago
12 rants and reactions:
I wouldn't mind those self-serve counters so much if there weren't invariably ONE item that required official human assistance, every time I shop...
Don't Harrods deliver to your town?
Hope you watched Survivors last night - a world without queues and supermarkets empty of all other customers (and all the goods are technically free) sounds right up your street.
TurnING? *cough* Yes, absolutely ;o)
We don't have much in the way of supermarkets around my neck of the woods, instead I have a few other things to gripe about.
I live in one of the biggest counties in the country and yet every single parking lot is the size of a playground. I simply cannot understand why it was necessary to save on land this way!
Both of our food stores are part of bigger chains. You'd think they would have some type of similar pricing, but no so. Filet of pork is invariably more expensive in our town (same brand,identical best-before-date etc.)so is just about everything else. How is it that the freght across 89 km adds so much "value" to everything???
*freight* I always hit publish to ruddy fast!
*too* , Allmycke (just saving you the trouble!)
You are too hard on yourself Rol; 'Man cannot live by Bragg alone'. There is usually something quite bewitching about an all-night environment (railway stations, airports and the like). This particular retailer clearly doesn't quite cut it.
Anyone who feels like a character in a Coupland novel is one of my kindred spirits.
Aha, another supermarket-by-night shopper. Slightly less nightmarish, but it has its own problems.
I loathe these places too but actually my local superstore IS my local shop, only 5 mins from my house. And who has time to do all their shopping at individual stores any more? Trying to move around at all in Oxford can be a nightmare with every nook crammed with tourists.
Christine - I can't help but feel those counters are rife for abuse (sneaking something through without scanning) - then I get worried I'm obviously on camera and frightened I'm gonna get pounced on for accidentally shoplifting.
Vicus - nobody delivers out to where I live, not even Harvey Nicks!
Steve - I do always hanker for a post apocalyptic supermarket, just me and all the canned goods I could ever want.
Penelope - what are you suggesting???
Trudi - you have my sympathies... price you have to pay for living in such a beautiful part of the world!
Brother - in principle, yes. In practise, no.
Punk - surely everyone feels like they're living in a DC novel these days?
Laura - trashy supermarkets amid the dreaming spires? Tell me it's not so!
I worked at a certain supermarket from 1996-2006. When I started on the night shift in 1997 there were 4 night staff, by 2006 there were at least 50.
While there are more people than you might think shopping at 2am (ie. any), I doubt there are enough to justify opening. Yes, there are the staff stocking shelves. but there are also the checkout stuff hanging about doing very little (I used to see them standing at the Customer Service Desk talking and I thought "They're getting paid the same as me"). But the fact is, night staff are usually more productive than day staff because the customers aren't in the way.
Lack of staff on the counters? We had one for a while. He went mad and left.
I bet you all get up to wacky japes during the middle of the night too. Like racing trolleys down the aisles, sticking sausages down your pants and...
Oh, sorry, what was I thinking?
Post a Comment