Why Would You Want To Sound Like U2?

I had a hell of a day at work yesterday. I'd been drinking from a big can of moron soup all afternoon. I needed to get out and listen to some loud rock 'n' roll.


Luckily, I had a ticket for Art Brut at the Cockpit in Leeds. Job done.

Yes, a ticket. Though I prefer to go to gigs with a mate, I've no problem going by myself. I go for the music, not some big social outing. Mostly though, when you go to gigs by yourself, you do tend to stick out like a sore thumb. It's not like going to the cinema on your own (though I know some people get weird about that too) because there's a lot of standing around at gigs, waiting for the band to come on. That's when you stand out.

Great thing about an Art Brut gig though - you won't be the only loner. I counted about ten of us, a whole wall of billy no-mates... but it really doesn't matter at an Art Brut gig, because the whole place is full of Freaks 'n' Geeks. We are the children of Eddie Argos (even though he's actually 8 years my junior) for the duration of that gig, and being a loser is something to be proud of in that company.

Art Brut's third (Frank Black produced) album, Art Brut Vs. Satan, is all about not fitting in. Having been booted out by EMI after their last release failed to trouble the charts, Art Brut now have an outsider record label (well, almost*) to suit their outsider image. Are they bitter?

"How am I supposed to sleep at night when nobody likes the music I write?" Eddie asks on one track, concluding "The record buying public shouldn't be voting!"

"Slapdash for no cash - those are the records I like" goes another, "Why is everyone trying to sound like U2? That's not a very cool thing to do."

The truth is though, Art Brut would be ruined if they hit the big time, no matter how Eddie dreams of writing the theme tune to the new Top Of The Pops, or reminds us on his debut single rallying cry Formed A Band, "We're gonna write a song as universal as Happy Birthday that makes sure everybody knows that everything is going to be OK". It's a nice aspiration, but if they ever realised it, Art Brut just wouldn't be the same.

"My sex is on fire," Eddie deadpans to drive home his frustrated ambition, "My sex - isonfire. Mysexis - onfire. Am I human, or am I dancer? Mysexisonfire!"

No guys, you stick with what you do best. Punk anthems for losers everywhere... like the new album's chock full of. Tracks like The Passenger, which takes the rock 'n' roll "life in the fast lane" cliche and tips it on its head as Eddie confesses, "Some people hate the bus, not me - I can't get enough!" Tracks like What A Rush in which Eddie confesses to the grubbiness of one night stands while the rest of the band chant, "Parents, please - lock up your daughters! His rebellious henchman is giving the orders!" And tracks like Am I Normal? which recalls early single Emily Kane in revealing another of Eddie's high school romances in all-too-real detail...

"Another time I overheard you saying you were going into town
And at the time, I lived right in between two towns and I wasn't quite sure which one you meant
So I bought a bus pass and went to both of them and tried to look for you everywhere
And when I finally saw you in WH Smith, I got scared...
Deep breath, stay calm - try and hide those sweaty palms
I can't get no satisfaction, I've got an itch I can't stop scratching"

A loser? Maybe. But Eddie Argos is the closest his generation gets to a Morrissey or Jarvis Cocker, and for that I'll always love him. Just like Modern Art does to Eddie, Art Brut... makes me... want to ROCK OUT!



*I was going to post the video for the new single Alcoholics Unanimous, however some bizarre record company decision has ruled it unavailable to view in the UK... so here's My Little Brother instead.