Because I'm anal, it was somehow inevitable that I follow my Top Ten Tens with a Top Ten Nines and so on. No jumping ahead now, but seven is going to be a monster. On the other hand, nine is probably the least represented number in my mediaplayer. A few runners-up from Scissors For Lefty, Tiny Dancers and Panic At The Disco (sounding more like Jellyfish than ever) scraped the bottom of the barrel, but there really wasn't a lot to choose from.
And before you ask, no, there's absolutely no place for possibly the worst Beatles recording ever, Revolution 9.
"Oh, but Rol, it's the Fabs being all experimental and envelope-pushy and far out, man..."
No, it's not. It's the Fabs being all shitty and pretentious and disappeary-up-their-own-arsy, and it almost ruins the White Album with nine minutes of bollocks. Worse still, it steals the name from one of their best ever tracks, and one of the few Beatles songs I can still listen to without getting bored. Utter twaddle.
10. The Ramones - It's Not My Place (In the 9 To 5 World)
Let's start as we'll eventually end. Yes, fundamentally, all Ramones songs sound the same. But it's a good enough sound, so who cares? Plus, the video reminds me of Kenny Everett.
9. Somatic - No. 9
I couldn't find any reference to this record online (apart from Amazon, where you can buy their subsequent debut album for a penny). It's a gorgeous string-drenched, vaguely Kate Bush-esque song from the late 90s. Let it was over you, now that I've gone to the trouble of uploading it to youtube...
8. Frightened Rabbit - Square 9
Like most Frightened Rabbit songs, this seems to come from the perspective of an sweet, hopeless romantic who's been kicked remorselessly in the knackers. Which is exactly what I want from a love song.
It'll be like square one
Where we fell in love
Forget about square two
There was no me and you
Just like square one
Where we fell in love, under the tree
Forget about square three
Oh that wasn't me
like square one
Where we fell in love
Forget about square five
I was only half alive
7. Prince - Love 2 The 9's
From the Diamonds & Pearls album (i.e. when Prince still had it), but you won't find this on youtube or anywhere else on the net for that matter, because the purple midget has a habit of suing any of his fans that post his stuff online. As with Jacko, you ignore the artist as a person, and concentrate purely on their sizable (for such a shortarse) contribution to the musical landscape.
6. The Moldy Peaches - Lucky Number Nine
"Indie boys are neurotic" sings Kimya Dawson as this song opens. You're telling me?
5. The Ataris - Eight Of Nine
From my favourite Ataris album, back when they did the widescreen Springsteen-arama note perfectly, and before they started taking themselves too seriously and stopped feeling half as good.
Appreciate the good times,
But don't take the worst for granted.
'Cause you only get so many second chances.
4. George Harrison - Cloud 9
My favourite Beatle by far, though this album owes far more to the post-ELO Jeff Lynne production sound that it does traditional Harrison (see also The Traveling Wilburys and most 80s Tom Petty). Still, Harrison's voice is unmistakable, and grew warmer and richer with age.
3. The Temptations - Cloud Nine
This is the point where the Temps leave behind the traditional Motown template and discover a strange, late 60s / early-70s hinterland between soul and disco. Wonderful.
2. E - Tomorrow I'll Be Nine
Before Eels, E's solo career was a strange and wonderful thing. This is from his second and final solo album, Broken Toy Shop, and introduces the E Child, who would return later on tracks like Saturday Morning.
"They're always looking at me funny
I'm always doing something wrong
I'm thinking they'd be better off if I was gone."
1. Dolly Parton - 9 To 5
I'm past trying to defend my choices. The truth is, I looked down my list of Nine songs, and asked myself the simple question - which of these would you most want to listen to again right now? And it's not kitsch, it's not irony... this really is my answer.
But what's your answer? Favourite Nine songs in the comments box, please.
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6 rants and reactions:
Ah. The only Dolly worth cloning...
Sheena Easton !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdPky0i7sx4&annotation_id=annotation_373793&feature=iv
What, no Nine Inch Nails? How sad!
I also support the Dolly Parton choice, that song does get the juices flowing, in all the right ways, haha.
Who doesn't love Dolly?!!
What about another Cloud 9 song? Bryam Adams and that scary one from the Spice Girls?
Steve I - I think they might have done it already.
Steve II - you never cease to surprise me.
Ryan - I decided to avoid numbers in band names and just stick to song titles... otherwise 4 would have been a nightmare. Otherwise, the Nails would have featured... if only for Trent's NBK soundtrack.
Penelope - that's post my BA collection. Rest assured earlier Adams may well feature in one of these lists one day, if only so I can go on about how his mum is from Huddersfield.
Cloud 9 by Revenge (Peter Hook's efforts at being a lead singer) aint too bad.
And I must mention The Bum-Clocks - an act made up of actor Tam Dean Burn, Malcolm Ross (Josef K, Orange Juice, Aztec camera etc) and Russell Burn (Fire Engines). They have a song called Nine Inches Will Please A Lady.
Oh and there's an early REM song called 9-9 which isnt bad.
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