The Top Ten Eights

Yesterday morning I was stuck in Tesco behind a 4-year-old in a trolley, wailing at the top of his voice a tuneless rendition of "My Sex Is On Fire" by Kings Of Leon. Which is, I'm led to believe, about STDs and stuff. They start that Sex Ed young these days, eh?

All of which is my completely irrelevant way of introducing this week's countdown - following my Top Ten Tens and Top Ten Nines... can you guess what it is yet?


I really struggled to make the ten this week (don't worry, I won't have any problems next time). The only leftovers came from David Bowie, Eminem, and E from the Eels (who featured last week, and will probably crop up again soon... plus, I couldn't find his song Eight Lives Left anywhere online).


Hit the countdown music, Fluff!


10. Paul McCartney - Figure Of Eight

Slim pickings this week means Macca - of all people! - gets a rare look-in. This is taken from Flowers In The Dirt, which I'd argue - thanks largely to Elvis Costello's involvement - is cheeky old Sir Thumbs Aloft's best solo album. Not that I'm an expert, but back in 1989 I still had a little time for the grinning Scouse gimp, and I probably listened to this record more than it deserved.

9. Super Furry Animals - Baby Ate My Eightball

The older they get, the madder they get. Gone are the days when the Super Furries peppered their insane psychedelic Welsh indie with little nuggets of pop gold like Something 4 The Weekend or Juxtaposed With U. The madness is still there since their move to Rough Trade, but they seem to be going the arthouse route more and more as evidenced by this nutty cut from their last-but-one album, Hey, Venus! Still fun, but I'd like them more if they remembered the pop.

8. Thea Gilmore - Eight Months

Taken from Thea's most commercial, and in some ways least successful album, Avalanche. As with most of Thea's output, I can't find any trace of this online to play you. But here's another track from the same album.

7. Hazel O'Connor - Eighth Day

This week on I Love The 80s, I have been mostly watching Hazel O'Connor dressed in a Tron suit from the movie Breaking Glass (which I've never seen). Behold, what I have done!



6. Rufus Wainwright - Dinner At Eight

The last thing you expect is Rufus Wainwright calling you out for a scrap. Yet here he is, talking the talk...

"No matter how strong
I'm gonna take you down
With one little stone"

Later, he even ventures "put up your fists and I'll put up mine"... who'da thunk he had it in him? Rufus, mate - I thought you were a lover, not a fighter.

My money's on me, and I've never won a scrap in my life.

5. Belle & Sebastian - The 8th Station Of The Cross Kebab House

With a cod-reggae vibe that reminds me of Dreadlock Holiday, this is Stuart Murdoch at his most playful.

At the sign of The Cross
We eat our falafel in peace
The girl lets her uniform slip
The boy cracks a joke he is sweet
He listens to Hip Hop in Gaza
She listens to Coldplay in Lod

4. REM - Driver 8

I first became fascinated with this track back when Grant Morrison named a character after it in his utterly mental run on Doom Patrol. On a journey into the fractured, schizophrenic consciousness of Crazy Jane, only Driver 8 can help the Doom Patrol navigate through the subways of her mind. Yet I still have more of an idea what that comic was on about than any Michael Stipe lyric I've ever heard...

3. Denim - I'm Against The Eighties

Because '8' isn't the most popular number in my music player, and because I'm unlikely to ever compile at Top Ten 80 Songs (as opposed to a Top Ten 80s Songs), I've included here a couple of my favourite songs about the much-derided decade I grew up in.

Lawrence from Denim knows all about the 80s. Back then he was in Felt. Perhaps that's why he hates it so much.

This is taken from the wonderful 1992 album Back In Denim, long out-of-print, but recently re-released and worth every penny you can scrape together. Middle Of The Road, The Osmonds, American Rock, Here Is My Song For Europe... classics all.

2. Tom Robinson - 2 4 6 8 Motorway

They say we Brits don't do good driving rock songs like the yanks. They obviously forgot this. (Actually, I bet I could come up with a list of ten great British driving songs, if you feel like challenging me.) This could have slotted nicely into three more entries in this series, but 8 was the one that needed it most.

1. Camera Obscura - Eighties Fan

Traceyanne and the gang, with possibly their sweetest song. I'm torn on which lyrics are my favourite, the opening verse...

You know it really won't surprise me
If you're a wreck by the age of fourteen
The way you look
The way you look is fine

...the gorgeous couplet that follows...

You say your life will be the death of you
Tell me, do you wash your hair in honey dew?

...or the wonderfully Morrissey-esque...

Run away to a bed and breakfast
Console yourself with the Reader's Digest
Ringing the Yellow Pages all alone

Take your pick.



Now then, Tea Leaf... what's your favourite 8 song... and what's missing from my collection?