The Top Ten Fives

Still still ill, but fortunately most of this week's Top Ten had already been compiled. No time for a rambling intro though, except to mention a few notable runners up from The Wedding Present, The Donnas, Beck, Noah & The Whale (who would have made the Ten if this record hadn't suffered from over-exposure in the last 12 months), The Long Blondes, My Life Story and The Flaming Lips.


10. Charlotte Gainsbourg - 5:55

In which Serge's daughter is kept away at night by Jarvis Cocker (who wrote the lyrics). A strange coupling, but it works.

9. Johnny Cash - Five Feet High And Rising

Because later on in this countdown I'll commit the heinous offence of including some modern corporate country... here's the real deal.

How high's the water, mama?
Five feet high and risin'!

8. The Supremes - 5:30 Plane

Not one of the more famous Supremes songs, this was actually written by one of my songwriting heroes, Jimmy Webb, and marked a change in sound for the post-Ross Supremes away from Motown. Not a great success, it sadly doesn't appear to be available on CD, the track in my collection is from a compilation, but I'm becoming increasingly tempted to buy the vinyl.

7. The Blessing - Highway 5

Wow, this is very 80s, isn't it? The bloke from The Blessing may not have the rockstar looks (well, he's hardly Lemmy or Shane MacGowan is he?) but he does have a half-decent voice and a quality piano player. The only way he'd ever pull a woman like the one in this video though is if he was in a band. Hmm, why else do ugly blokes form bands?

6. City Boy - 5 - 7 - 0 - 5

Can you believe there were ever 4-digit telephone numbers? Even in Glenn Miller's day the shortest you got was 65000. City Boy were an English band led by a bloke called Lol. What a ridiculous name. If he wanted fame, he should have changed his first initial to an 'R'. The crazy thing is, he's not the only Lol in rock. There's also Lol Creme (10cc) and Lol Tolhurst (The Cure). All those Lols, and not one famous rockstar Rol - it's not fair. Anyway, when City Boy split, he went on to form The Maisonettes. Being a one-hit wonder twice, that's some achievement. (And still two hits more than any Rockin' Rol you could name...)

5. The Who - 5:15

From Quadrophenia, another Who concept album, this tells of a drugged up train journey taken by split-personality hero Jimmy. The video's from 1982 - doesn't Pete Townsend look young? Daltrey looks the same as he always does, so he can just about get away with singing about "Girls of fifteen, Sexually knowing". Just about. When I was at uni, we had a lecturer called Pete Townsend. He was a terrific slacker. I liked him.

4. David Bowie - Five Years

Not much modern music this time round, is there? When you've got classics like this though, the newer stuff can't really compete.

Thanks to an incredibly generous benefactor, I'm currently reading Simon Goddard's Mozipedia - The Encyclopaedia Of Morrissey & The Smiths. I'm taking it slowly, just a couple of entries a night. Last night I reached the Bowie entry, suitably lengthy for the influence he had on Stephen PM. Apparently Bowie once introduced himself at a press conference with the words, "I'm David Bowie, and you're not." Which would be arrogant if it wasn't also true.

3. Julian Cope - 5 O'Clock World

Possibly my favourite Julian Cope song, a cover of the 1965 hit by the Vogues. I love the way he nicks a huge chunk of Petula Clark's I Know A Place and makes up his own lyrics to turn the original into a more typically Cope number with missiles flying and the world in flames. He dances like a freak in the video too.

2. Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

The ultimate "get me out of this job!" anthem, I'm shamelessly in love with this song, no matter how uncool Alan Jackson may be. The arrival of Jimmy Buffet brings the cheese. If you're a serious muso and can't be doing with this corporate country shit, pretend this song was replaced in the countdown by The Jam.

This record was also the inspiration for one of my favourite Elephant Words short stories, It's Five O'Clock Nowhere.

1. The Housemartins - Five Get Overexcited

One of my favourite Housemartins songs, this has Paul Heaton coming all Enid Blyton with predictably dark and disastrous results.

James Dean posters on their wall
{Five killed in a car-crash}
What a sad little end to it all
{Five killed in a car-crash}
Last seen having lots of fun
{Five dumped in a river}
Barefoot and on the run
{Five dumped in a river}

Back when I was writing The Jock, I got Nigel to include a sneaky reference to this song. In one issue there's a poster on the wall that says 'why'? I don't think anybody got the joke.

Love the video too! Was Fatboy Slim ever that young?



But... what's your favourite 5?