The Top Ten Twenty Sevens

Conversation in our office the other day while Band On The Run is playing on the radio...

A: Who's this? It sounds like Paul McCartney.

B: It is. It's Wings.

A: Wings? Who the hell are Wings?

B: God - I thought you were a DJ! Paul McCartney and Wings!

A: Was that before or after the Beatles?


I'm glad these Top Ten posts are proving popular. A quick confession - when I first started working in radio, I wanted to be a DJ. I could think of no better job than one that allowed me to go into a studio every day and put together a diverse track list that would entertain, educate (in the sense of introducing them to something new) and surprise the listeners. Sadly, shortly after starting in radio, this aspect of the job was taken away from most DJs, and the dreaded playlist became supreme. After that, I lost all interest. Who'd want to go into a studio every day and play a load of records chosen by somebody else... or worse still, a computer? I should have cleared out of the industry right then, but I hung around and found other things to do, just filling time until my writing career took off... and I'm still there twenty years later. Stuck. Institutionalized. Who else'd have me now... what else could I even do?

Anyway, short of podcasting my own radio shows (which always seems like far too much effort - plus, as I quickly learnt in my wannabe DJ days, I have a crap voice), these lists are as close as I can get. You find a way to live the dream, one way or another...

Ask someone to pick a number between 1 and 10, and apparently more people will choose seven than any other. I did read an interesting book all about probability and stuff that explained why this is, but I can't remember now. Useless, aren't I?

Anyway, this might explain why my musicplayer is positively brimming over with 7 songs, so many good tracks that I just couldn't limit this week's countdown to ten. I'll try to keep my waffle to a minimum...

Actually, I could easily have done a Top Thirty. Runners up included Cinerama, Scott Walker, The Boo Radleys, Madness, Bruce Springsteen, The Broken Family Band, Liz Phair, David Bowie, Saint Etienne, The Undertones, and the winners of last week's popular vote, REM. Some of those I do actually prefer to the tracks I've chosen below, but variety is the spice of life and you'd soon get bored if I filled this list with Bruce and David Gedge tracks every week.


20. Brian Eno - The Seven Deadly Finns

Brian Eno's only solo single? I'm not sure, but it's mad as a lorry, just like you'd expect.

19. John Martyn - Seven Black Roses

There's no doubt in my mind that the late great John Martyn is taking the piss with the lyrics of this song. Who else could get away with...?

"If you go looking down in the summer
To the village at the bottom of the well
You'll find nice things and butterflies' wings
And policemen's hats as well
The girlies there won't hurt you
'Cause they're all so very nice
There's cats and dogs and bats and frogs
And little pink sugar mice."

18. OMD - Sailing On The Seven Seas

From OMD's 90s revival, basically just Andy McCluskey and a few keyboards. A cool Glitter Band stomp to this track. Weird-as-fuck video though.

17. Elvis Costello & Jimmy Cliff - Seven Day Weekend

Not featured on the original version of the album Blood & Chocolate, but it's become a regular addition to every version since (and nobody re-issues his records more than EC). It's a slight, fun, vaguely Reggae shuffle that lightens up what is an otherwise pretty heavy collection.

16. Arthur Lee & Love - Seven And Seven Is

In an alternative version of the 60s, Arthur Lee was bigger than the Beatles.

15. The Blue Nile - Seven A.M.

From the classic Hats, one of the most atmospheric albums you'll ever hear. (I'm really going to have to cut down on my hyperbole, it's not healthy.) There was a time in my early 20s when I suffered really bad insomnia and this album was the perfect relax-and-doze accompaniment. Not sure if that's a compliment or not.

14. The Avons - Seven Little Girls Sitting In The Back Seat...

"...kissing and a hugging with Fred."

Remember this? You're older than you look. (Not you, Vicus.)

13. The Clash - The Magnificent Seven

I like The Clash more in theory than in practise. I love everything they stood for, and enjoy their singles whenever I hear them, but somehow have never been able to fall in love with them the way I should. But without The Clash there wouldn't be a Billy Bragg, so I'll always owe Joe Strummer for that.

12. Animals That Swim - Seven Days

Unable to find any trace of this record online, or much about the band itself - beyond the fact that lead singer Hank Starrs apparently appeared on the Art Brut single Direct Hit. (Npt sure what he was doing, shouting backing vocals most likely.) Great lyrics though...

"On my tenth birthday, danced naked on the lawn
Making rain fall from a red watering can
On my twentieth birthday, slumped in a corner,
Wearing Rhiannon's make-up and pearls,
Clamouring, 'Give me attention, please!'
On my thirtieth birthday, drunk in the Rose & Crown,
Dissecting thoughts of everyone around.

It seems every time it gets easier and easier to die.

On my fortieth birthday, stayed in alone,
Ignoring the door and the telephone
On my fiftieth birthday, foolish tried to win a fight,
Spent three weeks inside, with bruised muscles in my side.

It seems every time it gets easier and easier to die.

On my sixtieth birthday, climbed a favourite hill,
Lay watching the swallows and the dragonflies
On my fortieth birthday, a fine meal with friends
Then collapsed gently on the table, spilling twenty year old brandy
As I expire

It seems every time it gets easier and easier to die."

11. Dexys Midnight Runners - Seven Days Too Long

Another great Northern Soul cover by a band that really knows how to do this sort of thing (see also Breaking Down The Walls Of Heartache). I don't think I've ever heard the Chuck Wood original, but I bet his voice isn't as high as Kevin Rowland's.

10. James - Seven

In which Tim Booth gets all jiggy with the deity.

"God made love to me
Soothed away my gravity
Gave me a pair of angels wings
Clear vision and some magic things"

Would it be blasphemy to ask if the beard tickled, Tim?

9. Philip Jeays - Seven Signs Of Ageing

How pleased I am to have discovered Philip Jeays. He's like Scott Walker and John Cooper-Clarke locked in a cynical cupboard. Plus, this track was originally inspired by PJ's hatred of advertising. I mean, you can't go wrong with that, can you?

8. Edwyn Collins - 7th Son

My guess for what will probably be JC, The Vinyl Villain's favourite 7 song. He's the seventh son of the seventh son, but that don't make him the chosen one...

7. Spearmint - The Other Seven

Spearmint mainman Shirley Lee describes this song as being "like a loony cousin who sometimes comes to stay". As with many great Spearmint songs, it paints wonderful pictures.

"The voice of the great British beat boom is now holed up in Barcelona
Singing one song in eight in a barroom called La Paloma
And for the other seven, he's bored as hell
Distracted, drinking, out of step and out of time
He turns to the sax player behind, and he gestures wildly at him
And accuses him of drinking too much and playing out of time..."

6. Echo & The Bunnymen - Seven Seas

Taken from Ocean Rain, my favourite Bunnymen album.

Stab a sorry heart
With your favourite finger...

5. Prince - 7

Or Symbol, as he was then. The Artist Formerly Known As... doesn't want you to hear this song, so you'll have to use your head to imagine what it sounds like. Or you can buy the album for a penny on Amazon.

4. Arctic Monkeys - 7

The story of a shy boy who sees a girl he fancies, bottles it, then has second thoughts, plucks up the courage to make his move... only to discover he's missed the boat.

Who hasn't been there?

3. Queen - The Seven Seas Of Rhye

As readers of the latest PJANG will know, I grew up with Freddie Mercury. He was my first true musical hero. This is one of his earliest, foreshadowing the kind of operatic nonsense Queen would become famous for with Bohemian Rhapsody et al. According to Wikipedia, "The song is about Freddie Mercury's childhood fantasy world named 'Rhye'. The land of Rhye was originally made up by Mercury and his sister Kashmira when they were children." Right.

2. The Four Tops - 7 Rooms Of Gloom

Holland-Dozier-Holland at their gloomiest. Wonderful.

I see a house, a house of stone
(Seven rooms)
A lonely house 'cause now you've gone
(Filled with gloom)
Seven rooms, that's all it is, seven rooms of gloom
(Just seven rooms of gloom)
I live with emptiness
(Filled with emptiness)
Without your tenderness

1. The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army

Voted by people who know more about this sort of thing than I do as the best guitar riff of the last twenty years. (So that's not my hyperbole!) Air guitars at the ready!



So Now then - what's your favourite seven? Any Craig David fans out there? Please, no.