Fight Evil... With Evil says the tagline of Solomon Kane.
Fight Insomnia... With Solomon Kane might be more appropriate. Admittedly, I've not slept well this, but I was seriously nodding off in this film, and that really shouldn't be the case in a sword 'n' sorcery actioner from the pen of Conan creator Robert E. Howard.
Rome's James Purefoy steps into the slouch hat and swishy coat, but though he's got the right look - Hugh Jackman meets Robert Carlisle - his West Country accent is a distraction (even George Lucas realised that accent doesn't carry a whole lot of gravitas, hence why David Prowse was replaced with James Earl Jones) and, on this showing at least, he has about as much screen charisma as this pencil. (What do you mean, which pencil? OK, imagine I'm writing this blog with a pencil. This pencil.) I don't consider Huge Ackman the greatest of actors, but he's undeniably got movie star presence... Purefoy, who at times here looks so much like Ackman's woeful Van Helsing I'm amazed the lawyers weren't sniffing round... not so much. It's enough to say that he gets acted off the screen by, of all people, Jason Flemyng (who pops up as an utterly superfluous bad guy for five minutes in the film's climax). With that in mind, imagine what it's like when he's sharing screentime with Pete Postlethwaite. I don't recall Howard's Solomon Kane having invisibility powers... not in the comics I read, anyway.
Script and plot are equally dull. Pedestrian and predictable. Unexciting action sequences and obvious twists abound. And apparently they're pitching this as the first in a trilogy. Can't see that happening. The big question is why? Who decided Solomon Kane was a winner? Sword and sorcery is hardly a thriving genre (unless you're pitching it at the kids, which this wasn't) so if you haven't got an A-list star or a shit-hot script... how can you really expect to make your money back?
I pray to Crom the Conan remake comes with a lot more clout.
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5 rants and reactions:
Well, apparently it's nothing like the actual Solomon Kane stories, which has caused much teeth-gnashing among the fanbase, as one would expect. I'm waiting to see what they do when the new Conan film finally arrives. Should be fun.
What a shame. I like a good swords and sorcery flick. Shame they don't make 'em like they used to. I'm already feeling very ambivalent about the Clash of the Titans remake...
Ah. I was hoping that Kane would be a good'un. The version I've... found left on the doorstep by a mysterious benefactor was dubbed into Spanish, alas. It's an origin story, rather than an adaptation of the extant stories because the producers insisted upon it. If they got to do the sequels, the intention was to go into the African setting of the Howard stories.
Maybe I'll wait for it to come on TV then. Or learn Spanish.
Kind of a bummer. Was hoping the Puritan ass-kicker would have done well for himself. Alas, it seems he has not.
His name is PUREFOY? That alone should have warned ya....
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