Following on from last week's Top Ten Bitch Songs by changing just one letter in my search engine (yes, I'm that lazy) - and also in celebration of the unholy mockery that was Season Of The Witch - here are ten songs filled with hubble, bubble, toil and trouble...
10. Jeff Buckley - Witches Rave
Everyone knows the story. Jeff Buckley made one classic album, Grace, then floated away down the Mississippi River before he ever got chance to complete its follow up, My Sweetheart The Drunk. His record company, doing what record companies do best at times like this, released the unfinished sessions as a double album of incomplete "sketches". They're nowhere near as compelling as anything on Grace, but who knows - maybe they would have been.
Whoever uploaded this to youtube decided to link it to scenes from the movie Unfaithful, so you get to watch Diane Lane get it on with Olivier Martinez while you listen to Jeff's song. This may prove too much of a distraction...
9. Get Well Soon - Witches! Witches! Rest Now In Fire
Gloomy German arthouse types give great title... but slightly less memorable song.
8. Everclear - The Good Witch Of The North
An Everclear track that begins with a shag and ends with a promise. The titular witch is obviously his girlfriend... would you marry this man?
7. Eagles - Witchy Woman
A song written by Don Henley in a delirious fever dream, the witch in question apparently being F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife Zelda, "the first American flapper". (Yes, I said 'flapper'. You just read it as 'slapper'.)
6. Hefner - The Sad Witch
Her atheist tracts are certainly persuading.
...is one of those lyrics that always brings an unnecessary smile to my face. The question is, if we threw Hefner in a lake with bricks tied round their ankles, would they float or would they drown?
(No indie-folk weirdoes were hurt during the preparation of this Top Ten.)
5. Eels - Teenage Witch
Speaking of which...
If being a witch isn't bad enough, E imagines it must be even worse being a teenager as well!
Heaven can't help a teenage witch
From sinking deeper down into the ditch
4. Bloc Party - Hunting For Witches
The witchhunt here is the media-fuelled hysteria created after 9/11 and the subsequent terrorist attacks on the London Underground. Those wacky, fun-lovin' Bloc Party lads.
3. Edwyn Collins - The Witch Queen Of New Orleans
Originally recorded by Redbone in the 70s, there's just something about the Edwyn Collins version that tips it over the edge. Great strings, and Collins' voice has never been richer. Curiously, he also does an inspired cover of our next track too... though sadly I can't find either of them on youtube.
2. Frank Sinatra - Witchcraft
Written and released in 1957. It's easy to think of Sinatra as being a big musical force in only the 40s and early 50s, disappearing off the scene once his nemesis, rock 'n' roll, arrived on the scene. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is a classic, whatever the era.
1. Donovan - Season Of The Witch
The film may have been a crock, but Donovan's 60s hit steals the broomstick from all other contenders. It's also the only truly spooky song on the list.
So... who did I forget? Or, as Scooby Doo would have it... which witch is WITCH?