Friday, 8 April 2011

My Personal Apology To Bill Hicks (and you)



By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself.


No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.


Seriously though, if you are, do.


Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers. Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

That's Bill Hicks there. In case you didn't know. And I do agree with him. Which is the worst kind of irony.

I've worked in advertising for over 15 years now, but that's the day job. I've always tried to draw a line between that and my private creative work. But I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Bill... I'm weakening...

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart."


Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags!


"Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing."


Goddammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a goddamn dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!


"Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that."

You may remember this post from a few weeks back wherein I got all self-righteous about not selling out, refusing to run advertising on this blog or suck the corporate teet.

Yeah, well, that was before the car ended up costing me £420 for a new flux capacitor. And there's a holiday coming up. And I haven't bought any new clothes since winkle pickers were in. Principles are one thing... holes in your shoes are another thing entirely. And it's not as though my creative side is reaping fortunes... so until it does...

Consider this post an apology. An apology to Bill Hicks, and an apology to you. Because you may notice a few subtle advertisingy things cropping up here from time to time over the next few weeks. Because I really need the money. Feel free to ignore them and just go on about your business. And try not to hate me too much...


11 comments:

Nota Bene said...

If you start advertising nappies or vagisil you're dead meat. Most other products mostly acceptable...and all in the aid of SOS charity

Rol said...

Quick - cancel the Vagisil post!

Steve said...

I always knew you were a whore at heart.

Rol said...

I never denied that.

m.lawrenson said...

Maybe if I mention Michael Bolton, Tom Hanks and Audis enough, this blog will become festooned with Google ads for "Bolton Swings Sinatra", Forrest Gump and A6s.

Rol said...

Now, Matthew, I still have to draw the line SOMEWHERE.

(My WV is TURDSNA - somehow appropriate.)

Kelloggsville said...

The final irony being your linkedinwidget is suggesting I go read 'this blog is not for sale'

Rol said...

I know. I love that.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I understand entirely about the poverty thing Rol.

However in my own case have just traded £200 of future hairdressing with boss of my salon in return for me writing his business blog!

Will see if I can wangle the same with the car garage next week as like yourself am looking at a £300-£400 bill.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

PS: Not sure blog advertising ever works. I for one am adept at blanking it or closing it down the moment it pops up.

Rol said...

Hmm... nice idea, Laura... though my hairdresser would have retired before he worked off £200 of MY haircuts!

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